Mademoiselle,

[Translated from French]

Do excuse me for slipping this into your basket. It is rather churlish of me, I understand, but such is my nature. Perhaps you understand such things? I am not quite sure who you are, but I am certain that you were certainly not born a slave in this country, for certain.

You are a very certain kind of person. I’ve seen mountains less sure of themselves. It feels almost familiar.

I am a confidence man of strange renown but many accolades. A lover of mine is moving to this quiet place, and I put myself in chains so my assistance isn’t questioned. They never think twice so long as the locks are bolted on tight, no? So long as the unfamiliar is subservient, it is allowed. But I find this place dreadfully dull and the mystery of your presence so enticing. Perhaps we’ve met before? Somewhere along the Swahili, perhaps? Ethiopia? One of the Caliphates? Abbasid? Umayyad? If not, then I am more than willing to correct this.

I will be here for at least a week or two. I can hardly leave the good doctor here until his constitution’s adjusted - such a fragile thing at times, but his mind is keen. If you would like to talk further, if you are something far beyond the rustic normalcy of this hovel, I’m sure you can find a way to respond.

And if you are not, if I am somehow wrong, well, I doubt you read French.

[Translated from Arabic]

I find French to be an abysmal language, stranger. The great kings of Europe colluded to make it the language of riches and gold and empire. It’s at its best when screamed by a noble as their exotic imported pets peck out their eyes and tear at their legs. The country that birthed it is just as bad. The royals keep running its people into the ground until they rise up like a flood to drown them, but then the country can’t last a decade without one of those Napoleons worming their way into the seat of Emperor. I wonder if I’d be better served there than here sometimes.

As such, I’ve chosen a language more to my liking. The early Caliphates had their own excesses of power but they at least had fine poets; I assume you know the language if you’re willing to cite them. If not, I doubt we have anything to talk about. You are not the first confidence man of strange renown I’ve encountered; I am not easily impressed. But it’s been a long time since I’ve spoken the tongue of poets and lovers. If you can read this, I will indulge your curiosity.

If you can slip out of your chains for a few hours tomorrow afternoon, I can do so with mine. There’s a copse of trees to the East where nobody goes until it’s time to collect firewood for winter. You’ll have to excuse the blood. Someone I had higher hopes for is making a play at vengeance. I’d hoped that he’d reconsider, but at least his aim is sharp. Perhaps next time he’ll learn to carry more ammunition.

[Translated from Arabic]

Poetry is not firmly in my nature, but I was mistaken for Abu Nawas for a few years. We shall walk among the trees then, and I will tell you of my sabotage of empire, and you of yours, until the sun sets and leaves us both unfinished.