A Miracle In Chicago!

John H. Kinzie of the city’s Board of Trustees was released from Cook County Hospital earlier today, despite doctors fearing the worst. The Board President was admitted last week due to weakness of the legs and a high fever. Attempts to reduce the fever were unsuccessful for several days and Mr. Kinzie was consigned to bedrest, with few expecting him to survive past the week. However, upon daybreak today, the Board President’s condition had greatly improved. By noon he was able to walk again and he was allowed to leave a few hours later.

Mr. Kinzie attributed his newfound burst of health to a miracle he experienced while feverish. The incident alleged by him is that “the doctor stepped away, raised his hands and started speaking in a strange tongue from a strange book. Suddenly, a shadowy figure emerged from behind the doctor and reached into me, like one would a carpetbag, and pulled the fever out.”

The attending physician at the time was Theodore Birch, new hire and local Jew, who did not agree on the presence of another person in the room but did agree that his condition improved greatly after he recited a psalm from a prayer book. He instead attributed Mr. Kinzie’s recovery to the efforts of the hospital as a whole. Mr. Kinzie nonetheless gifted him a gold pocketwatch and intends to provide funds to the hospital should he win the mayoral election next year. We thank Cook County Hospital and Dr. Birch for preserving the life of a man of the city.

Leonard,

Forgive my poor penmanship. Something harrowing happened.

I caught Reynard sneaking out of a patient’s room at the hospital. When I confronted him about it, he just said that it was ‘payback’ with a chuckle and slipped out of my hands as soon as my grip loosened. The patient was on death’s door and now he’s the picture of health! The Negro has always had a dazzling amount of knowledge, but the knowledge to cure so quickly, so easily? I have to wonder whether he’s even human.

He came when I called on God for healing. Would God send such a trickster angel? Was Reynard on some other mission and simply heard my prayer? I have such questions.

That alone would be startling enough but the patient is influential in local politics and he caught me saying the prayer for the sick from the siddur. I had to endure a reporter’s pestering about my background, my faith! I can only hope they do not hear of this in Pennsylvania; I do not know if ‘Jewish miracle healer’ will outweigh the rumors about us.

I shall confront him. If he is an angel, then I will cite Yankov [Jacob] as precedent to wrestle him to the ground over this, and if he is something else, I intend to take him to task. I will not have him upturning my life for his amusement. I do not expect to be at risk. He is a sly soul. If he takes offense, he’s more likely to slip away than get violent. But if this is the last you hear from me, know that I love you.