The Trials & Tribulations of One Victor Freestone

In which

paranoia has not yet sprung from the earth

St. Louis, Missouri

February 11th, 1845

To Ezekiel, my brother,

I’m glad to say that your children arrived safely. There was a snowstorm rolling in earlier and I was worried they might get caught in it, but they arrived just before it hit the city. After the quiet winter months, it’s encouraging to see exuberant youth around the mansion, even if they occasionally crack the good plates. I’ve learned God’s lesson well since 1820: money is ephemeral, family is not, even if God has given me back far more money than I ever lost.

This year will be an exciting visit for them, I’m certain. St. Louis has become a popular stop for traveling shows over the past few years. There’s a hippodrama wintering near the city, a full-equine rendition of As You Like It or some other Shakespearean comedy; a menagerie will be coming through in March, featuring some fiendish blood-sucking thing captured in the aftermath of the Alamo; and of course the usual round of minstrel shows, though I’ll be enacting some restraint there. Corinthia’s been so excited about the hippodrama that she keeps sneaking into the stables to see if she can get the carriage horses to say Bible verses; I keep telling her that I don’t have the right kind of breed for that but she hasn’t quite gotten it. I’ve promised Young Deuteronomy a visit to the minstrel shows if he’s polite and courteous, so we’ll see if we actually go. Elle keeps catching him trying to sneak into the servants’ quarters for some reason he refuses to elaborate on. As for Lamentations, I’m sure he’ll spend the entire menagerie trip making sketches and notes. I do hope you consider my offer to send Lambchop to college; his intellect is begging for a full education.

Thank you for letting Elle travel with the children. I know you don’t need her as keenly these days since Mother passed, but it still means a lot to have her here. It’s only been a week and she’s already gone through the pantry, organized everything, and talked to the other house slaves. They’ve all been so much more pliant lately. She’s such a delicate hand with the stable horses, and even more so with the children. Corinthia wanted to feed Triumph, our most troublesome horse. There’s only two stablehands and one driver that I trust to work with him. Elle had him eating out of Corinthia’s hand within an hour. She’s able to talk Deut out of most of his ill-advised schemes. And Lambchop is truly devoted to her, always following her around asking her questions, even if she ends up making up the answers. He asked her about countries on the other side of the globe and she, not knowing the countries of Europe, just started saying nonsense like ‘Abesid’ and ‘Umayad’ with the sweetest little voice.

Take care, brother. Your children will be safe in my care. And remember that my house is welcome to you and your wife as well.

Vance Bean, Esq.

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